Helpful ReplyMarcy's Diner (Portland, ME) and a Screaming Child

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rumaki
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2015/07/21 17:27:55 (permalink)

Marcy's Diner (Portland, ME) and a Screaming Child

http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/parenting/wp/2015/07/21/about-that-kid-in-the-restaurant/
 
At a crowded diner on a Saturday morning, a family sits down, orders their food, and waits. The toddler with them begins to cry. She doesn’t stop.
What do you do?
If you’re Darla Neugebauer, owner of Marcy’s Diner in Portland, Maine, after about 40 minutes of listening to it, you snap.

Ten minutes after giving Tara and John Carson to-go boxes and telling them in no uncertain terms that either they all had to leave, or the baby had to leave, Neugebauer turned to the family from behind the counter, slammed her hands down, looked right at the baby, pointing at her, and shouted, “This needs to stop!”
 
I'm with Darla.   Most of  the online comments are, too.
 
#1
ChiTownDiner
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Re: Marcy's Diner (Portland, ME) and a Screaming Child 2015/07/21 18:06:51 (permalink)
Me too...40 minutes is borderline abuse...by the parents! 
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Re: Marcy's Diner (Portland, ME) and a Screaming Child 2015/07/21 18:13:05 (permalink) ☄ Helpfulby kozel 2015/07/24 09:20:16
Imagine how many times we had to console a screaming Chi Town Diner when the restaurant was out of some of it's left sided menu items.
#3
buffetbuster
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Re: Marcy's Diner (Portland, ME) and a Screaming Child 2015/07/21 18:29:01 (permalink)
From what is reported, I have no problem with what Darla did.  40 minutes?  Ridiculous!
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Re: Marcy's Diner (Portland, ME) and a Screaming Child 2015/07/21 19:50:33 (permalink)
Agreed...good parents also take into consideration all the other patrons!
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JB-ME
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Re: Marcy's Diner (Portland, ME) and a Screaming Child 2015/07/21 20:02:59 (permalink)
Here in Maine this has been all over the news with many saying they wouldn't go back and many saying they would. As a restaurant patron, I don't go out and want to hear a child crying/bawling. I would expect the parents to make an attempt to quiet the child, take the child outside for a bit, or get their order packed up to-go--or accept the packed up order when offered. In this case the parents didn't apparently. The owner, wait staff, and other patrons had a right to complain. There is another video where the owner gave an apology of sorts, and admitted to losing her temper. I think she felt justified after asking the family to leave, and they did not. This is the latest local TV coverage.
http://www.wcsh6.com/stor...nds-weigh-in/30434943/
Like others, I am on Darla's side. Screaming wasn't a nice thing to do, but someone needed to do something, and the parents were not. Apparently the nasty FB exchange sounds childish on both sides. For the pqrents it was payback for being asked to leave, and the owner is still not reacting in a good way, though she apparently removed in an earlier post and replaced it with a slightly better version.
I think this is one good reason to take restaurant reviews and balance them against other reviews or other sources of info. A full restaurant is a good review on its own.
 
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ann peeples
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Re: Marcy's Diner (Portland, ME) and a Screaming Child 2015/07/21 22:10:14 (permalink)
As an employee, I have the right to ask anyone to leave our store if they are disruptive. A child screaming for 40 minutes, hell, even 10 minutes, is disruptive. The parents have a responsibility to take the child outside. While I don't think the owner should have lost her temper in the manner in which she did, I stand behind her right to refuse service/ask someone to leave her establishment.
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Re: Marcy's Diner (Portland, ME) and a Screaming Child 2015/07/21 23:35:48 (permalink)
Three cheers for the diner owner.
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Re: Marcy's Diner (Portland, ME) and a Screaming Child 2015/07/23 20:57:16 (permalink)
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Re: Marcy's Diner (Portland, ME) and a Screaming Child 2015/07/23 21:14:44 (permalink)
40 minutes!?!?!   That's a patient owner, and VERY obnoxious parents.  I would have given them food to go and then fair warning to leave  after a few minutes.  I would've probably had the Sheriff evict them at 10 minutes of that.  Harsh?  Maybe.  But, better to lose the business of a few very inconsiderate jerks, than to lose the business of the majority of your customers who know how to act in public.   I don't understand why anyone would think that the diner owner is in the wrong.  Why do some people these days insist that everyone else bow down to accommodate and put up with obnoxious behavior?  (And no, I'm not blaming the child.  It's the parents who have the ability to take the child out of the situation.)
 
 
Glenn
 
 
post edited by Glenn1234 - 2015/07/23 21:16:49
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Re: Marcy's Diner (Portland, ME) and a Screaming Child 2015/07/23 21:25:12 (permalink)
What's interesting, is that most of the people I work with have very young children. They are all in full support of the  parents of the screaming toddler . In addition they're not exactly all that happy with me when I told them that I've been to Marcy's and the food is actually pretty darn good.
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Re: Marcy's Diner (Portland, ME) and a Screaming Child 2015/07/23 21:59:20 (permalink)
wanderingjew
What's interesting, is that most of the people I work with have very young children. They are all in full support of the  parents of the screaming toddler . In addition they're not exactly all that happy with me when I told them that I've been to Marcy's and the food is actually pretty darn good.


Wow, that blows me away.  How could they support such ignorant and non-caring  parents?
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wanderingjew
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Re: Marcy's Diner (Portland, ME) and a Screaming Child 2015/07/23 22:10:34 (permalink)
Greymo
wanderingjew
What's interesting, is that most of the people I work with have very young children. They are all in full support of the  parents of the screaming toddler . In addition they're not exactly all that happy with me when I told them that I've been to Marcy's and the food is actually pretty darn good.


Wow, that blows me away.  How could they support such ignorant and non-caring  parents?




You got me, I just didn't want to deal with their wrath- they kept referring to Darla as "that crazy lady" funny thing is I think the last time I was there I'm almost certain it was Darla I was talking to behind the counter. If that was her she seemed very nice to me.
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Re: Marcy's Diner (Portland, ME) and a Screaming Child 2015/07/23 22:19:11 (permalink)
I wrote what follows before I just read WJ's response. His experience and mine were the same with parents of young children--they sided with the parents. I also used the term toddler, as did he.
====================
The op ed by the mother (a marketing manager) was a masterpiece of self defence, claiming the child wasn't bothering anyone, they were perfect parents, and so on. A real attempt to portray the perfect family image. Both the diner owner and the parents were getting a lot of flak in social media. Overall I think the owner is winning and for good reason. On FB a number of friends and acquaintances were against the owner, saying they would never go there. I was the only one on the owner's side. Many of them have young children. I shudder to think what it would be like to go out with any of them! And we are an hour or so from Portland, so their claim they would never go there to eat is a hollow threat. None of them had ever been there, probably had never heard of the place, and would not have gone there anyway.
It was in another article that Portland was going to follow up on health code violations that had been called in. That article also stated that the diner had always previously passed their city inspections. Good for them. City inspectors know what generated the complaints and sounded apologetic about having to follow up, but it is their job. It is more work for them and expense for taxpayers, and they know w that they are unlikely to find code violations, if they haven't in the past.
One other thing...the 21-month old is called a child or kid by some in reports. I would call a child that age a toddler. The mother's term for her almost two year old was 'baby'. Going for the emotional response.
Lots of unintended consequences of a crying/screaming child, who was out of control.
 
 
post edited by JB-ME - 2015/07/23 22:25:29
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Re: Marcy's Diner (Portland, ME) and a Screaming Child 2015/07/23 22:29:46 (permalink)
Well, in my opinion, they were terrible  non-caring parents.  I have been out to dine with many babies, toddlers, and young  children.  I have never sat there, when if baby or toddler acted up for more than a minute without the parent taking the child out to restroom, out for a walk or out to the car to be calmed down
 
.If parents do not do this, I considered them to be   entitled, non-caring or ignorant!
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mlm
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Re: Marcy's Diner (Portland, ME) and a Screaming Child 2015/07/24 00:02:07 (permalink)
I think the owner's reaction was a bit extreme but she had tried other measures and nothing had worked. It is hard to know just what happened, clearly both sides are subjective in their accounts. But if the child had indeed been crying, fussing, whatever for 40 minutes, it was clearly time for the child to be removed. I looked up the website and saw the restaurant is a store front, evidently with no place to take the child, no lobby, no sheltered place outside which is very unfortunate but the parents should have packed it in. Sounds like it turned into a battle of wills. She should not have screamed at the child. It was the parents' issue. Children of that age are prone to meltdowns, it's part of being a kid. Don't know what else she could have done except call in a police officer. What I do think is that the manager should ask herself whether or not she would have accepted that sort of extreme behavior from an employee. I certainly hope not.
 
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Re: Marcy's Diner (Portland, ME) and a Screaming Child 2015/07/24 02:21:48 (permalink) ☄ Helpfulby kozel 2015/07/24 09:25:10
Neuter the parents! They should be prohibited from having any more children!
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Re: Marcy's Diner (Portland, ME) and a Screaming Child 2015/07/24 08:41:45 (permalink)
wanderingjew
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What's interesting, is that most of the people I work with have very young children. They are all in full support of the  parents of the screaming toddler . In addition they're not exactly all that happy with me when I told them that I've been to Marcy's and the food is actually pretty darn good.


Wow, that blows me away.  How could they support such ignorant and non-caring  parents?




You got me, I just didn't want to deal with their wrath- they kept referring to Darla as "that crazy lady" funny thing is I think the last time I was there I'm almost certain it was Darla I was talking to behind the counter. If that was her she seemed very nice to me.




Perhaps the well respected hoo-da-man will chime in with his perspective...I believe he resides in your parts and I often seek out Smedley's advice. 
post edited by ChiTownDiner - 2015/07/24 09:29:41
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Re: Marcy's Diner (Portland, ME) and a Screaming Child 2015/07/24 12:44:20 (permalink)
ChiTownDiner
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wanderingjew
What's interesting, is that most of the people I work with have very young children. They are all in full support of the  parents of the screaming toddler . In addition they're not exactly all that happy with me when I told them that I've been to Marcy's and the food is actually pretty darn good.


Wow, that blows me away.  How could they support such ignorant and non-caring  parents?




You got me, I just didn't want to deal with their wrath- they kept referring to Darla as "that crazy lady" funny thing is I think the last time I was there I'm almost certain it was Darla I was talking to behind the counter. If that was her she seemed very nice to me.




Perhaps the well respected hoo-da-man will chime in with his perspective...I believe he resides in your parts and I often seek out Smedley's advice. 




I checked with Hoo-Da-Man but he keeps deferring everything to this guy.
 

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Re: Marcy's Diner (Portland, ME) and a Screaming Child 2015/07/25 07:52:39 (permalink) ☄ Helpfulby JRPfeff 2015/07/25 08:30:42
It seems the Wistehuff family of North Carolina knows how to handle a restaurant, and plenty of folks noticed...and picked up their tab and tip!  Bravo! 
 
https://www.yahoo.com/parenting/surprising-reward-for-family-who-removed-screaming-124938711122.html 
#20
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Re: Marcy's Diner (Portland, ME) and a Screaming Child 2015/07/25 08:31:02 (permalink)
Thanks for the link Gregg. That made my day.
#21
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Re: Marcy's Diner (Portland, ME) and a Screaming Child 2015/07/25 09:20:42 (permalink)
I remember my wife telling me that one day shopping at the supermarket, my daughter started to act up.  My wife left her cart ( and our dinner!) and took my daughter outside to the car until she calmed down. It took a while.  The kindly folks in the market had emptied her cart.
 
Conversely, I remember shopping one day at our local market and a mother was in there with a screaming child of 2-3.  You could hear it throughout the store and it was all the employees and patrons could talk about.
 
I'm with the owner, to a degree.  "How" something is said/presented is equal to the "what" that is said.
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leethebard
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Re: Marcy's Diner (Portland, ME) and a Screaming Child 2015/07/25 10:28:13 (permalink)
We were blessed with kids who never lost it in restaurants, but I can imagine it could certainly put a damper on a dinner experience. Perhaps a kind approach by the staff would help. I'm sure when faced with that problem many parents would be embarrassed,even nervous. A little understanding could help get things going!!
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Re: Marcy's Diner (Portland, ME) and a Screaming Child 2015/07/25 15:52:12 (permalink)
wanderingjew
What's interesting, is that most of the people I work with have very young children. They are all in full support of the  parents of the screaming toddler . In addition they're not exactly all that happy with me when I told them that I've been to Marcy's and the food is actually pretty darn good.


Its those damn hipsters again!!!
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allyk
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Re: Marcy's Diner (Portland, ME) and a Screaming Child 2015/07/26 14:42:10 (permalink)
Exactly.
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Russ Jackson
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Re: Marcy's Diner (Portland, ME) and a Screaming Child 2015/07/26 14:57:35 (permalink)
Your child starts crying take the child to the car until they stop. If they don't stop pay the check, apologize, leave a big tip and get out. Your child's bad day should never impede on others if you can help it. If someone gives you that look when your child acts up or asks you to correct the situation you have waited too long. Many children under the age of 6 today have such poor discipline they should be kept out of the general population. This is the fault of the parents. Rarely does the Father do anything in the situation other than ignore it.  Today if you ask someone to control the monster they are responsible for they will go psycho. Its always someone else's fault today.    
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lleechef
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Re: Marcy's Diner (Portland, ME) and a Screaming Child 2015/07/26 15:16:31 (permalink)
Russ Jackson
Your child starts crying take the child to the car until they stop. If they don't stop pay the check, apologize, leave a big tip and get out. Your child's bad day should never impede on others if you can help it. If someone gives you that look when your child acts up or asks you to correct the situation you have waited too long. Many children under the age of 6 today have such poor discipline they should be kept out of the general population. This is the fault of the parents. Rarely does the Father do anything in the situation other than ignore it.  Today if you ask someone to control the monster they are responsible for they will go psycho. Its always someone else's fault today.    


Yes, yes and yes!  This is the fault of the parents.  We often went out to eat when I was little.....4 years old.....my parents never reprimanded me.  They had taught me proper manners.  I ate my meal like everybody else.  The only time I saw children escorted out was in church when a baby would start to cry, the parents always took the child outside.
 
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ann peeples
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Re: Marcy's Diner (Portland, ME) and a Screaming Child 2015/07/26 15:42:44 (permalink)
LIsa-I agree-my parents never had to take me outside when I acted up because I didn't. First of all, our family never ate out until I  started kindergarten( 4-5 years old) And I was also taught table manners, in which they would extra prepare us to dining out if that was the plan( Dad liked to take us out to a fancy restaurant once a year at Christmas). I am not saying I never got antsy-but they also made sure to take us places that had interesting things to look at. Parents these days, imo, only think of what they want, not the entire dynamic of the family or society.
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Re: Marcy's Diner (Portland, ME) and a Screaming Child 2015/07/26 16:34:11 (permalink)
One thing that I cannot understand ,in both "child act up" situations, is that the parents said their kid was hungry and had to wait too long for food.      How many brains does it take to carry a couple of zip lock bags, one with cherrios and one with cut fruit or   vegetable sticks.  My children have done this with their kids during all the very young  years.
 
 
 
#29
bartl
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Re: Marcy's Diner (Portland, ME) and a Screaming Child 2015/07/26 16:52:52 (permalink)
The thing that got me was the mother claiming that she explained to the child that this was not the way grown-ups behave. If she could explain that to the child, then, WHY THE HELL COULDN'T SHE TELL THE KID TO BE QUIET IN THE FIRST PLACE???????
 
Bart
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