Helpful ReplyWhat you will not order in a restaurant

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IndianaPete
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2018/02/19 18:41:23 (permalink)

What you will not order in a restaurant

Having responded to the BLT thread and realizing how picky I am about BLTs, it occurred to me that there are several food items I will not order in a restaurant because I'm never satisfied.
 
BLTs - just make me a plain BLT, no extras, no frou-frou, no half inch thick bacon.
Eggs -  jeez, where do these people learn to cook?  I am sick and tired of fried eggs with lacy edges, browned scrambled, and burnt omelets.  WTH!  I order French Toast now.
Eggs Benedict - no runny eggs for me, no hard eggs either, can't anyone make Hollandaise anymore?  Where's my paprika?  There is ONE place that knows what the heck they're doing - Keylime Bistro on Captiva - they ask you how you want your eggs!
Grits -- Make the spoon stand up!  Cracker Barrel's the worst -- runny soup.  It's not the corporate recipe because I've gotten nice thick grits at a CB in Georgia.  Maybe I have to go south of the Ohio R. because I've also gotten good grits at a Cuban restaurant in FL.
 
OK, I feel better now.  Anyone else?
#1
felix4067
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Re: What you will not order in a restaurant 2018/02/19 18:47:49 (permalink)
Tuna salad, whether by itself or in a sandwich. I don't care how fancy you make it, it's not worth whatever a restaurant thinks I should pay for canned tuna mixed with mayonnaise.
 
I'm with you on Eggs Benedict... I've got no problem with the eggs, usually, but it's rare to find a restaurant that doesn't use powdered Hollandaise mix, and I'm not putting that in my mouth if I can help it.
 
Any food that comes from a self-proclaimed "bistro", "gastropub", or any other hipster/trendy/buzzword/what-have-you nonsense place. Odds are good it's going to cost 5x as much as I'm willing to pay, and it's practically guaranteed I'm going to find the whole thing pretentious and also served on a slate tile or chunk of barn wood rather than a plate, and it'll also be "deconstructed", because apparently the folks who cook for those places never learned about presentation.
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mar52
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Re: What you will not order in a restaurant 2018/02/19 20:57:34 (permalink)
Tartare.  Any.  Had it once, liked it... don't need it again.  Same with Carpaccio. I don't trust the preparation.
 
Peanut Butter and Jelly.  How could they perfect on mine?
 
Kidneys and brains although I'd love to taste sweet breads (off of someone else's order) at least once in a fine restaurant.  It will be determined before the other person ordering that I want a tiny taste.  I've had cabeza tacos only I didn't know it when eating some of the best tacos ever.  Won't order them again, knowingly.
 
Deconstructed ANYTHING.  I almost don't want anything from a place that even mentions it on their menu.
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the grillman
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Re: What you will not order in a restaurant 2018/02/19 21:17:13 (permalink)
Breakfast items….I love omelets, but I have to be cautious sometimes, as they will throw in raw onion and peppers into my Denver or Western omelet; sauté them until slightly tender, please, show a little effort.   And a real Western doesn’t include cheese; sometimes I just want the real authentic thing…no extra half pound of cheese clogging up the works (and my arteries).   I am also wary of Eggs Benedict and biscuits and gravy…. both are often prefab.   If I find a good place that makes those items homemade, it goes into the must have list immediately.   I will also second the grits issue….no watery tasteless grits, please.
 
I rarely will order a steak sandwich; I have found them not to be worth it and usually tough.   I am also wary of chicken salad.      On the dessert front, I love bread pudding, but there are so few good versions out there, and don’t gunk up the works with white chocolate….
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1bbqboy
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Re: What you will not order in a restaurant 2018/02/19 23:51:23 (permalink)
Felix, we do have a place here that makes tuna fish sandwiches from real not canned tuna, but they aren't cheap. Wonderful though. I almost never order cold foodst, just seems like I want hot if I'm eating out.
Regional dishes outside their region almost always miss the mark. Biscuits and gravy here in the PNW are never right. They just don't get it.
post edited by 1bbqboy - 2018/02/19 23:52:26
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MetroplexJim
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Re: What you will not order in a restaurant 2018/02/20 09:08:26 (permalink)
Any raw meat or fish - sushi, ceviche, or tartare.  Back in the 1970's I had a colleague almost lose his vision to an intraocular infection caused by eating sushi. 
 
(BTW, this diagnosis wasn't some "guess", it was made at the Wilmer Eye Institute of the Johns Hopkins University Medical School where he was treated for it every weekend for over six months.  And, as my colleague was, himself, a Ph.D. biologist I continue to take his kind advice).
 
Further, my ethnic tribesmen from Paris like to serve duck rare.  Non, merci.
 
And my other tribe from Edinburgh often offers awful offal, ovine meats, and other assorted 'gamey' stuff.  And they can keep that smoky whiskey of theirs, too.
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Davebassman
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Re: What you will not order in a restaurant 2018/02/20 10:13:18 (permalink)
Chicken Salad - Every restaurant seems to have their own recipe and more often than not, not a very good one!
Crab Cakes - There are restaurants that sell fantastic crab cakes (not just in Maryland), but unless they are known for their crab cakes, watch out! I've been served crab cakes that were mostly filler, didn't use real crab, or even thawed frozen one's like you find in a supermarket freezer!
Eggs - Sorry, just don't like-um'.
Grits - (north of the Mason-Dixon line)
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wanderingjew
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Re: What you will not order in a restaurant 2018/02/20 10:22:29 (permalink)
Davebassman
 
Grits - (north of the Mason-Dixon line)




That's a shame..
Times have certainly a changed
You don't know what you're missing
We have some superb restaurants in Rhode Island that does superb renditions grits.
I've had an authentic rendition of Shrimp and Grits right here at Dante's Kitchen in East Greenwich that could not only stand up but put to shame some of the versions I've had in Charleston.
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Davebassman
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Re: What you will not order in a restaurant 2018/02/20 10:56:50 (permalink)
wanderingjew
That's a shame..
Times have certainly a changed
You don't know what you're missing
We have some superb restaurants in Rhode Island that does superb renditions grits.
I've had an authentic rendition of Shrimp and Grits right here at Dante's Kitchen in East Greenwich that could not only stand up but put to shame some of the versions I've had in Charleston.



I based my comment on bad experiences travelling through PA & NY in recent years. However if I make it up to RI., I'll take you up on your recommendations.
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ronnielee54
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Re: What you will not order in a restaurant 2018/02/20 12:24:33 (permalink)
I have lived in the south for over 50 years and I just don't see the fascination that the tourists from up north seem to have with grits.  
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ScreamingChicken
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Re: What you will not order in a restaurant 2018/02/20 12:48:11 (permalink) ☄ Helpfulby Tony Bad 2018/02/22 00:13:55
Davebassman
Chicken Salad - Every restaurant seems to have their own recipe and more often than not, not a very good one!

The trick with chicken salad is to order it properly.
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IndianaPete
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Re: What you will not order in a restaurant 2018/02/20 17:31:22 (permalink)
I never get tired of watching that and I knew what it was before clicking.
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Wintahaba
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Re: What you will not order in a restaurant 2018/02/20 17:34:49 (permalink)
SPAM
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Root-Beer Man
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Re: What you will not order in a restaurant 2018/02/20 17:43:13 (permalink)
I have no problem ordering grits in Southern restaurants. It's really hit or miss in the North, though. Cracker Barrel uses cheap grits so, even though they often come with the meal when I get breakfast, I just taste them and seldom eat even a significant portion. The one thing I never get is brunch. I avoid that like the plague when a restaurant serves it. The cooks hate it and it usually shows in the quality of the offerings.
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ScreamingChicken
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Re: What you will not order in a restaurant 2018/02/20 20:19:01 (permalink)
I thought about the original question for awhile and couldn't really come up with an answer.  These days when I go out to eat it's almost always for a specific menu item, and anything I wouldn't order is stuff I wouldn't eat at home.  Granted, I've been to some places where I'd never order a particular dish again, but there's nothing in general that for me qualifies.
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leethebard
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Re: What you will not order in a restaurant 2018/02/20 20:20:43 (permalink) ☄ Helpfulby MilwFoodlovers 2018/02/20 21:07:05
ScreamingChicken
I thought about the original question for awhile and couldn't really come up with an answer.  These days when I go out to eat it's almost always for a specific menu item, and anything I wouldn't order is stuff I wouldn't eat at home.  Granted, I've been to some places where I'd never order a particular dish again, but there's nothing in general that for me qualifies.


I agree....Why would I order something out,if we make it at home. 
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edwmax
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Re: What you will not order in a restaurant 2018/02/21 08:00:20 (permalink)
ScreamingChicken
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Chicken Salad - Every restaurant seems to have their own recipe and more often than not, not a very good one!

The trick with chicken salad is to order it properly.


Haha   ... I did something like that one time.    The restaurant wouldn't serve breakfast after 10am.  I think it was about 9:50 when I went in and 10:02 when the waitress was taking our order.    ...   I ordered an egg sandwich with toasted bread, side order of grits and coffee all from the their day menu.
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MetroplexJim
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Re: What you will not order in a restaurant 2018/02/21 09:23:01 (permalink)
edwmax
ScreamingChicken
Davebassman
Chicken Salad - Every restaurant seems to have their own recipe and more often than not, not a very good one!

The trick with chicken salad is to order it properly.


Haha   ... I did something like that one time.    The restaurant wouldn't serve breakfast after 10am.  I think it was about 9:50 when I went in and 10:02 when the waitress was taking our order.    ...   I ordered an egg sandwich with toasted bread, side order of grits and coffee all from the their day menu.




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