What I got For Christmas
Folks have been asking me, and since you know I like to cook, thought you'd like to know............
1. I got a partridge........sans pear tree.......spent 2 hours chasing it around the house where it kept leaving extra "presents". Had to kill it and pluck it and it was greasy and tough.
2. Turtle doves were a bit more manageable but kinda skimpy on the meat
3. The 3 French hens came out perfect, thanks to an old Julia Child recipe........"First, you kill the hens"
4. The Calling Birds were a complete waste of time.....I threw them out and hoped the hawks liked them
5. Can you really bake English Muffins in these rings?????? Won't the gold melt?
6. Geese are nasty!!!!!! They fight back! but I got them under control and took most of them for turduken. The last 2 I"m turning into foie gras!
7. You think Geese are nasty???? Don't ever mess with these suckers!!!!!! They scored their freedom after the fourth assault!
8. I got more damn dairy products than I know what to do with! Not to mention 8 more mouths to feed.....although number3 is kinda cute and keeps giving me the eye.
9. After that, it all went downhill fast. More Freeloaders, Family, "Friends", Co-workers came by to party and eat all my food. They trashed my house and I'm up for a Court Appearance for violating the noise laws.
Next year, I"m going for PEACE on Earth......And Goodwill can take all my old clothes!
At least by New Years I get to drink someone else's Cheapo Chapagne......sheesh!
(And yes.I made this up on the fly.so feel free to share w/o worrying about a copyright suit.....Happy Holidays, everyone)